Italian Spiderman Movie - Episode 5

Hands up whoever thinks motorbikes are the sexy rebel cowboys of the vehicle world. I count no less than 1 billion hands. The vote is unanimous; motorbikes are indeed one of the coolest creations man has ever pieced together out of metal, rubber and pure unbridled machismo. Motorbikes are like a mustache, (stay with me here...) they are fairly pointless, only really fun for one person - or two if you like living dangerously - and generally give the rider an air of complete superiority. I say 'rider' and not 'rider/wearer' because if the mustache is correct, you're really just part of IT, and not the other way around. If I had a real (post-pubescent) mustache, I'd ride that thing straight down a tiger's throat and burst out the tip of his tail, and I'd do it EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Italian Spiderman, Episode 5.



To all those people who refer to this scene by saying "wow you guys must have been on acid or something when you made this," I strongly urge that you find some good LSD, take it, and then try even handling your own TV remote properly, let alone a huge camera/lighting/green-screen/sound recordist equipment and giant motorbikes. If you somehow manage to compile a film of anything other than 16 minutes of your lounge room floor followed by a short muffled scream followed by cut to black, edit it up, add some sound, whack some titles and credits on your shiny new opus and send it to me. I will post it* on The Mantis' Quill. The gauntlet has been thrown down. Eat it with milk.

INSIDE THE DRAGON

Introducing Goblin and Gino. See if you can guess which is which. Go on.

Who are they? What do they want? When is now? Who is what?
All I know is that Corey and I should live our entire lives in these costumes. I'm wearing mine right now. I'll give Corey a call.

Also, Capitano Maximum and his MaxiMen

Do you recognize the men under those henchmasks? If you do, GOOD FOR YOU! If you don't, how can your eyes be working well enough to read this text? So many questions.

One last note: You see purple smoke, you get the hell out of there Carl.

EPISODE SIX - JUNE 26!
PICK UP STICKS.

*no I won't.